Yes, this week's Positively Creative journaling prompt is about what you love, and I've got to say, I'm not lovin' my results. I made several silly mistakes doing other things before I even started the exercise, a sign I should recognize as things being off and I should get out of the studio. But it's Sunday and I pressed on. Not much new in the way of technique here, just lightly paint the page (purple with a little white mixed in) and use a sharpie pen to make marks - any marks. "They may not even show after the next step," the directions said, which always makes me wonder why to do it in the first place? (You can see my attitude is not positive nor loving here.)
I've not used the yellow paint since the first exercise and thought it might look good over the purple, especially if a mixed a little white into it to make it paler before scraping it down the page. Well, THAT didn't work too well - it really looks horrid and didn't do much to cover up my marks. Since I'll be journalling when all the painting is done, I think they need to show through much less than this. You can see the blobs of white paint at the top of the spread, ready to be scraped over the yellow in an effort to lighten it while covering up the marks.
That didn't work either and I added two more layers of paint before calling it quits - the purple without any white mixed in, then more white over the top. Bleh bleh bleh. However, I'm remembering other spreads I questioned that actually looked ok as the backdrop for the "creative" stuff on top. Let's hope...
I really don't want to show you this, I'm so disappointed with it. A lot of the problem is with the colors I chose - I never should have paired that particular yellow with this purple, not in this way. I'm remembering this same frustration back when I was playing with marbling and sun-printing and other painting on fabric. I only seemed to have a few colors that coordinated well with each other, the rest frustrating me at every turn. I'm having the same value struggles that crop up in my textile work. Those hyacinths faded into the background without help from a darkening pen, yet the lettering in black equally struggled to be seen on the page. I even managed to copy the quotation given in the exercise wrong.
These sorts of setbacks are so demoralizing, making me want to give up on this class and toss it all. I recognize this feeling; it's these kinds of failures in the past that kept the paints in the cupboard for so long. It's realizing I've made these same mistakes before and apparently can't keep myself from repeating them. I know. Some of you are probably rushing right now to leave me a comment that this is not a failure if for no other reason than I have learned something from it. Don't try to make me feel better!!! ;-) Trust me - it is a failure and this spread in my happiness journal does not make me happy. However, it can be a failure AND teach me much. I've already run through a few positives, like sensing my comfort level with approaching paint itself increasing. And finding the teapot to symbolize the filling up in the quotation instead of defaulting to the ubiquitous heart symbol pleased me. But overall, I did not enjoy this process today, not even listing the things I love. Too focused on the thing I did not love before me!