Need A Plan

"Do I look anxious?"

Here it is, my beautiful wool sweater. Early last week I came to a point where I was caught up and suddenly had a block of time open, and didn't know what to do with it. It was an instant panic as I did the "on spin cycle" of things I could fill it with; because these things were only in my head rather than ranked on a list, my mind just went from one to another and couldn't land on anything. A trip downstairs where the sweater lay with its last seam ready to be sewn made me realize that this is ridiculous: the sweater would rise to the top, be my focus for the week. That seam up the side and down the sleeve took a surprisingly long time to stitch though, more than one sitting. The compression gloves do seem to help keep my fingers from cramping while doing that kind of hand sewing.

finished measurements provided

Holding my breath, I tried it on. Whew! It fits in all the important places . . . except the sleeves are about an inch too long. Hmmm. I went back and looked at the photo with the instructions, a woman turned a bit sideways and holding up one hand to her chin and look at that. Even with her arm bent, the sweater came well past her wrist, about the same as mine. Since I'd checked my finished sleeve measurement against that in the directions, I now knew this was a feature, not an error. This got me thinking about blocking, if I could ease the sleeves shorter that way. The neckline was a bit wonky as well, so blocking might solve that too. Off I went on a google; in all the knitting of sweaters I'd done in my younger days, I don't ever remember blocking one and only had the briefest of info about it in my head.

Well, I learned a lot, not just how to but why block a sweater from OliveKnits.com. In the post How To Block A Sweater, she explains that not only does blocking allow you to adjust your finished piece to the proper shape, but soaking the stitches "makes an enormous difference in the way a garment feels, drapes and wears." Mine could certainly use that. This worsted weight wool that I used while not scratchy or particularly stiff, is HEAVY, so much heavier than the almost airy in comparison commercial wool sweater of a thinner yarn I was wearing that day. She says that an unblocked sweater looks anxious while blocking helps it to relax. She adds, "This settling process evens-out inconsistencies and encourages the stitches to get comfortable. Not only will it help hide flaws (hooray!), but it it will smooth and help to define the stitch pattern." Sounds a bit like the advantages of washing or at least steaming your finished quilt.

What I hadn't thought about is something I know about quilting yardage but holds true for yarn as well: by the time it gets to you, it has been through many processes where it can pick up dirt. A gentle wash will rinse that away. Ditto with any excess dye. And those fit issues I mentioned? She confirms that "A sweater that doesn’t appear to fit quite right might just need a good soak to reach its full potential." So I guess I have one more step before I can call this sweater done! But at least I can now move forward on the next knitting project, a scarf from the yarn unraveled from a cowl I never could make work though I tried several times to reseam the ends different ways to get the drape shown in the photo. I don't like taking out stitches or undoing major parts of projects but this yarn is too beautiful to let languish in something I'll never wear. The rest of my plan still needs to get written down on a to do list.

End of Year Journal Prompts

I thought I'd share the journal prompts that helped me assess 2024 and settle on my resolution word. They were presented in December by Ali Manning of my Handmade Book Club, partly because so many members are at a loss as to what to use their newly-made blank books for. I was still in a mood when she first posted them and brushed them off as something I didn't want to do, but by the third time they crossed my path, I found myself pouring out answers on a scrap of paper. I know we are well into January, but perhaps you'd be interested in considering them:

• What surprised you this year?
• What habits or routines improved your life?
• What risks did you take and how did they turn out?
• What would you like to leave behind this year?
• What are your top priorities for next year?
  

As you might guess, a lot of my answers were quite negative, but it's good to get that out of your system. And it was pretty clear what I wanted to leave behind and make priorities for 2025.

I usually scan over the year's blog posts before choosing my resolution word and writing that post, but this year I did not. In retrospect, I think I left the impression that the year had been a wash, so easy to concentrate on the negative, but surely that was not true. So now I've made that scan and can say it wasn't all bad, by any means. I made quite a few beautiful books, many for gifts. I got back into knitting more often, completing a pair of socks and nearly finishing a sweater. I worked to improve my art journaling skills with several completed spreads and some small mixed media pieces. I added more Zentangles to my sketchbook, learning some new ones. I pried myself out of the house to do some urban sketching once the weather got nice. And organizing efforts throughout the year did make me feel better about my work spaces and a bit more in control.

Of course, I couldn't help feeling my crowning achievement was making that baby quilt for my goddaughter's baby, then following it up with the pillowcases and trinket bowls. And of course, even more trinket bowls! But I needn't overlook all the rest I accomplished, the year certainly not a wash. I'm disappointed that I couldn't convince myself to get out on a trail hike but I'm hopeful that what kept me home or on my secure daily walking routes will no longer be an issue. And I'm hopeful that my issues with my hands will be less of an issue with the help of compression gloves to wear while doing handwork and these fancier ones with heat and vibrations! In this clip they are charging up, the blinking red lights looking a bit like Christmas, don't you think?

So while I may be focusing on resisting less, I think I am right in thinking I need to resist being sucked in by free classes like that Year of Light one. Even though there are a few lessons I still plan to try, I realized that almost all posts from people doing them were direct copies of the instructor's example. And while copying is one of the best ways to learn, I thought more than once that no, I did not want to just copy, but use my own sketch or idea to practice a particular technique or style. That may be partly out of confidence or partly out of recognition of time marching on and I need to make better use of it. In truth, even in the learning stages of quilting, I was always thinking of little ways I could change things up to make it more my own. I will try to keep that in mind, that making things more my own, as I continue into the new year and keep creating.

2025 Resolution Word(s)

Are you a resolution maker or use the shortened version of choosing a resolution word? I've settled into the latter and often have my next year's word chosen a month or two before it goes into effect. Not this year. It was well into December before I settled on my choice for 2025, actually two sets of two words. They mirror how I felt 2024 had gone and how I didn't want 2025 to go. I'll reveal them in a bit but first, here is the last of the trinket bowls, made hastily on New Year's Day because I'd be seeing the recipient the following day for my regular cut and style. I had plenty of time to make it, but kept putting it off as I so often do with tasks until I was nearly out of time.

My stylist is always interested in my creative ventures, so at my previous appointment, I'd told her about the trinket bowls I'd been making and found it a little difficult to explain what they were and my process. Right then and there I decided I should make her one. She is an avid hunter, her husband hunts too but is also a game taxidermist, and they've even gone on safari in Africa. So I pulled out some leopard and tiger fabric that had come from friend Judi's stash to make this. She immediately said, "This will be perfect for all my rings!" then sent me a photo of it in use. She added that most of them had been gifted to her by another crafty client who makes them. I feel like she herself is quite the hair artist, mine being no trick to keep in check and her personality draws people to her. I'm not surprised that clients often gift her their work as I have.

But I digress. I realized that I'd spent a lot of last year in this same cycle of putting off getting to things or finishing things I'd started, even things that I wanted to do or had gotten excited about. My mental state was one of resisting, and if I could just get past the "I don't want to . . ." quarrel going on in my head, I was fine and getting things done. But I often didn't win.

Sleeves set in but still dragging my feet about sewing up the sides

So why was I resisting so much? To be honest, it may have started with tipping over into my seventh decade, which believe me I wanted to resist. I think I spent much of the year in a funk over it, coupled with a long slog getting my thyroid back in balance which eventually vanquished side effects of anxiety, depression, difficulty sleeping and fatigue. I started having more issues focusing my eyes which is due to dry eye syndrome which started up a few years back, part of my on-going auto-immune syndrome. The pain in my thumb-joints and cramping fingers worsened, making me think twice about picking up knitting needles or needle and thread to sew the pieces of this wool sweater together. I stare at it each evening when I settle in to watch tv, but fear gripping that needle will set off the cramping and the pain keeps me from picking it up. (However, I'm experimenting with compression gloves of two varieties and they may be helping.) Frankly, I grew tired of the constant monitoring of my various ailments and the daily/weekly routines and medication necessary to keep everything in check. Moody and biligerant about these things I could not ignore but wished I could.

That's the other thing I've realized in looking back over my behavior last year. A lot of the resistance was also driven by fear: fear of pain, or not having the stamina to make a longer drive or hike a trail longer than my daily walk, even still lingering pandemic fear of participating in anything involving crowds.  And too much of it driven by the whine of that petulant child in my head. I knew all this fear and resistance was making my world smaller and was having a hard time caring.

But hey! Something reversed after Thanksgiving. I suddenly started feeling physically much better which may be why my attitude uplifted, became brighter. I suddenly did not dread the coming year as another marker of my waning time on this earth but felt I'd have the energy to do more and see more, and really want to. I would take up my resolution word more as a mantra:

RESIST LESS/FEAR LESS

I think this will serve me well, and I pray this looking-forward-to-the-new-year optimism and better health stays with me! This quotation from Rilke is a perfect reminder of what a new year can mean:

“And now let us believe in a long year that is given to us, new, untouched, full of things that have never been, full of work that has never been done, full of tasks, claims, and demands; and let us see that we learn to take it without letting fall too much of what it has to bestow upon those who demand of it necessary, serious, and great things.”

As for last year's word - organize - It didn't help as much as I had hoped in getting me more productive, what with all this resistance in the background. Initially it was good to get the decks cleared and a lot of stuff organized and put away. But organizing is a lot like housework: it is never one and done but something you have to keep doing as new items enter the studio and projects leave messes in their wake. Plus there's always that issue of organizing so well that you suddenly can't find something you know you have somewhere, if you could only retrace your logic to find it. Plus, my muse apparently took off with both boxes of Posca Pens which I realized a few months ago were nowhere in sight, my last memory of one set on the work table and the other on the floor next to some paint I'd been journaling with.. She must be holding them hostage until I get back to my art journaling . . .

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Previous Resolution Word Posts:

• 2008 - Freedom
  2009 - Calm
  2010 - Focus
  2011 - Refocus
  2012 - Balance & Harmony
  2013 - Perseverance
  2014 - Explore
  2015 - Fearless
  2016 - Light
  2017 - Endure 
  2018 - Refresh
  
  2019 - Wing It!  
  2020 - Go! 
  2021 - Finish 
  2022 - More 
  2023 - Continue
  2024 - Organize 
  

 

 

Belated New Year's Greetings

Day 1 and 2

I hope you all had as lovely and peaceful and stress-free of a time between Christmas and New Year's Day as I did. I'd saved videos from Zentangle's latest project Twelve Days Of Christmas that were posted leading up to Christmas day but actually the twelve days of Christmas start on Christmas day. Knowing this and also knowing I didn't have time to fit zentangling into my pre-Christmas schedule, I looked forward to doing a tangle a day during the last days of the year and into the new one.

Day 3 and 4

Rather than work on individual tiles, I worked these in my "and then add red" sketchbook which accounts for the splashes of red in these tangles originally presented in blacks and greys. Some I liked the results of better than others but oh do I love what that red does. Don't forget that you can click on any image for a larger version to view details.

Day  5 and 6

The Zentangle people had settled on a theme for this group of tangles, that being "drawing behind". It's a simple basic zentangle technique that makes your work look much more complicated than it actually is, as does the final step of shading with graphite pencil.

Day 7 and 8

This page has one I wasn't very pleased with and one I rather liked. On the top one, the original curved lines to make the swirl were done with a wet paintbrush loaded with pigment off a watercolor pencil (or in my case, Inktense pencil). Shaky hands and a too small paint brush hindered my swooping of arcs which should have been a tad farther apart to fill up more of the square and make room for inner tangling. The bottom one if full of what we quilters call feathers but in this case, all jumbled up like after a pillow fight. White and red berries nestle here and there.

Day 9 and 10

These two were fairly fun to do. Rick drew the diagonal tangle going over and under itself while Maria added the drops that Rick pointed out looked like Japanese Lanterns, and so they do. As for the bottom one, who does not like a good swirl which in this case comes off looking a bit like clefs. I wasn't crazy about what was added to the space between the outer auras, would definitely do something different if I drew this again.

Day 11 and 12

I was pretty pleased that I stuck to my plan to block out time to do twelve consecutive days of tangling, but I won't lie. By day eleven I was ready to be done, and that top tangle didn't help my attitude any. They did it on a rectangular tile while I had pre-drawn squares on my pages. It would look better if the tassel part was longer but in truth, I didn't like this one much, especially the tassel part. I'd been having trouble drawing lines over this paper which is not very smooth and my unsteady hand coupled with working in the sketchbook didn't help. drawing long curving lines so close together and over and under each other was not the meditative process it could have been. I probably should have found a different tangle to draw, but so close to the end, I just sucked it up and worked it. But the one below was pretty fun. I actually didn't like day one's zentangle at all. It is pretty rare that I'm not willing to even give one a try (see previous description of tangling the top one). Instead, I knew I'd been saving a somewhat Christmas-y tangle for over a year, never adding it to this sketchbook until now, on this last day. Looks a bit like a stocking hat, does it not?

I'm glad I did this as I do enjoy tangling and have been away from it for a long time. What are vacation holidays for anyway? What special thing did you do over the holidays to relax you or kick off the new year?