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| The passage of time starts upper left and circles back to lower left |
When I'm working on my textiles, sketching and bookbinding are always in the back of my mind. When I'm sketching and bookbinding, my textile projects are always in the back of my mind. So as I worked to get my ArtWalk application together, I had that couldn't wait feeling about getting back to that challenge bookbinding project. And yet, when free day came, I was so intimidated by what I had started I simply kept finding other things to do. In fact, I returned to a Sketchbook Skool assignment (from Lynn Chapman's class) I'd been working at here and there all April. It too had an intimidation factor but in terms of ranking, it suddenly moved down the meter. And so I present to you my attempt at telling a story (of something I repeat every day) with a bit of capturing the passage of time. I tried not to obsess about perspective and and details, setting up my little still-lifes for reference and finding an illustrated yoga asanas flyer to copy. It's done primarily in colored pencil and different inks with less pencil undersketching than I usually do. I couldn't resist the rhyming text!
While finishing this up, I had time to consider what was keeping me from proceeding with the bookbinding project, why I suddenly felt terrified of it. It mostly comes down to I am trying something I've not tried before with little specific direction in an area I have little experience with. I realized there was more to putting together my little book than I originally thought, and I needed to mull things over a bit. I mulled my Morning Routine sketch for a long time too before starting it. It's what I do when feeling intimidated, work out as much as I can in my head first, a method of talking myself down off the cliff as it were. But once I make a plan, I am eager to see if it will work. I'm at that point I think, and with this sketch done, I can give it a go.
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| Pend Oreille Veterinary Clinic |
But first, I wanted to finish up one last sketch that's been hanging over me since last September! This building is on my walking route and I watched all summer as it was constructed. It was that arch over the front of the building that caught my eye, was put up quite early on so I had plenty of time to study and savor it before finally starting to sketch. I think I went back 4 different times until I had all the details sketched in and colors matched to my pencils. I did most of the coloring at home between trips to the site. Finally, everything was sketched in and I only had the building siding and windows to color in. And there it sat on my kitchen table, tempting me but very low on the priority list. But today, as part of my tying up of loose ends so I can concentrate in the studio, I finished that laying down of color and I am very happy with the results.
I don't think I've shared this sketch yet, a continuance of "homework" from the graffiti-style urban sketcher Brian Butler's class which preceded Lynn's class. He calls this kind of filling of a sketchbook page an inspiration generator. I'd already done the homework for his class, filling a page with images of a favorite place collage style so this style of sketching was fresh on my mind when I started watching a new season of Project Runway. Right after a commercial, they throw up quick angled shots of buildings and street scenes, and it wasn't long until I wanted to capture some of these in my sketchbook. Yes, I have a DVR so I could pause the action while I threw down some quick lines. I found this really fun, and using a thick soft nibbed pen like a Flair pen has a loosening up affect on me. I'm thinking I need to fill that white space between cab and bridge with a headshot of Tim Gunn!
True confession, I haven't touched the other assignment Lynn gave us, the one I made the accordion sketchbook for so I could try the pivot method of sketching a room. That still intimidates me and I'm still mulling and working out how to tackle it. I'm getting closer, think I know what media I want to use, have determined I'll start in the middle of the book sketching the corner desk where my computer monitor sits and then working my way around from there. I'm definitely out of my comfort zone with this, as well as that bookbinding project. And to be perfectly honest, I'm a bit intimidated by the thought of binding Sway, even though I can do binding in my sleep. I'm focusing on all the things that could go wrong, waffling on how wide I want it to be and whether to make it single or double fold. I just need to take a deep breath and do it, all of this.
6 comments:
Intimidation is horrid, and often is a spreading disease. I understand it, and feel for you. You could try asking yourself what could be the worst that would happen. Also why not try things out on waste paper after you have had a think. Elements of failure are great lessons towards satisfaction and success.
Check how many times you use "intimidated" and then ask "what's the worst that could happen?"
This is the question I ask myself every time I find that I'm procrastinating on a project. Most of the time the worst is that some paper, some paint, some fabric or some thread will be used.
I echo the previous comments...what's the worst that could happen? I feel your hesitation, however, because right now I am somewhat intimidated by our art group's challenge due in early August. Taking my own advice, I suppose that I need to just DO it! I always enjoy your illustrations & your morning routine doesn't disappoint! Jan in WY
While I appreciate this well-meaning suggestion, asking someone that falls into the personality type that I do to consider what's the worst that could happen only starts her down a path that increases anxiety, if she's not already gone down it. Because these personality types spend their whole lives analyzing everything that could happen in any given situation and what we come up with is seldom reassuring. So actually, when I say I need to mull and make a plan in order to bring intimidation under control, I am in fact assessing outcomes and looking for ways to avoid worst case scenarios (either through remembering past experiences or doing some research or trials). When I realize that intimidation is what's slowing me down, the "talking myself off a cliff" is a recognition that my more rational mind needs to kick in.
Sorry to say, the rationale that "it's only a bit of paper, or fabric or thread" also doesn't work on my irrational mind. Being raised in a thrifty household by parents who lived through the depression and drilled in me the waste not want not thing - a habit hard to kick in the studio. I've dumped a lot of money into my supplies so it's difficult for me to think of much of them as "just" anything. Compounding this is that I often work with one-of-a-kinds, bits in short supply and irreplaceable. So what, you may ask, but it does play on my mind that if I mess up, especially if I'm working with the unfamiliar, there are no second chances. Yup, I hear you saying, "so what" again, but that is you and not the way I am able to see it. It's just not fun for me to work blind and unfettered, although I have learned to loosen up some (the Sketchbook Skool work really helping with that). Other couldn't stand to work in the systematic and somewhat rigid manner that I do. We learn over time what gives us a better experience and for me that is when I mull and work out a plan to allow me to explore in ways that give me the best chance at a positive outcome. Not necessarily a perfect outcome, mind you, but one that keeps me from beating myself up. Personalities - they really do make a difference in how a person approaches all things in life.
Olga, I had to smile at your suggestion to try things out on waste paper. That is exactly part of the plan I hit upon in my mulling, as I wanted to try adhering some things to my pages before sewing them together and wanted to use a method I'd not tried yet. But this being a recycling challenge, I had a finite number of pages I could get out of the thing I was recycling, exactly the number I needed, none left over for trials. And then I remembered the scraps trimmed off at the beginning and end of the big sheet, big enough to do some trials with. That was the thing that turned the corner for me and even got me thinking about what else I had on hand that could be worked into this.
Susan, you echo a thought I had after posting, that intimidation and procrastination are thoroughly linked. And the more we overcome procrastination to work with the unfamiliar, the less we are intimidated by explorations. At least, that's how it works for me.
I did not expect these comments, since I wrote with the idea that I have developed ways to deal with these irrational moments and just wanted to share my process when they occur, and admit that all is not sunshine and rainbows but that the clouds can be chased away, in case any of this might be helpful to my readers. But I should have known. The creative community that I seem to surround myself with is nothing but supportive and even concerned when my spirits seem to dip or I hit a rough spot. Thanks so much for being there for me.
And I say once more - when we hit these spots, any of us, sometimes we just need to take a deep breathe and DO IT! Jan, you will be fine once you brainstorm some ideas on paper (inspiration generator!), stumble on a lightbulb moment (it will come) and get those fabrics out. :-) (Of course, you knew that, right? - lol)
I hear you about the personality thing. It's difficult to explain without sounding constantly contrary that 'that might be ok for you, but I ....' The great thing about advice is, however, that you can ignore it!
A thrifty household is where I come from too - my husband laughs at me as I carefully peel sellotape off so that I can re-use brown wrapping paper. I find that that wrapping paper, or the endless wasteful printed flyers can actually be of use in trial runs. Working out how to fit things together cut out of pizza delivery flyers, or scribbling plans on utility bill envelopes can make a virtue out of their wastefulness.
By the way, multiple scrunchings of brown wrapping paper, then ironing it can provide beautiful-feeling fabric-like material which I've layered with fine cloth and stitched.
Olga, we are two peas in a pod sometimes! Any piece of paper that comes in the mail and has nothing on the back becomes scratch paper, notepads, etc, and your idea of scrunching brown wrapping paper (or over here it is or is similar to the brown paper bags one's groceries get put in if you don't bring your own bags) is a technique on my list of something to try, although the method I saw results in a faux leather like one might use as a book cover. Hadn't stopped to think about using it as you suggest. Yes, there are way too many ways to use what is at hand and make ourselves feel a bit more virtuous. :-) Thanks for being understanding about my near rant response. I do get touchy about, I admit.
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