I'm Back

There's a song that goes "Back to life, back to reality" that I reluctantly sing in my head once my week of seclusion (or any break really from the usual routine) is over. I don't actually totally isolate myself from the world, but I do turn off the phones (alerting people who might worry if I don't pick up or return calls) and don't schedule appointments or meetings during that week. I aim for a week devoid of the usual responsibilities of everyday life and focus on, well, that varies from year to year. I soon slipped into a more relaxed routine that banished guilt that might be asking if I was spending my time as I should. The zentangle Be Well sketchbook sat open in front of the computer screen (of course I spent time on the computer!), inviting me to work in it daily. The rest I took as it came.

I was slightly amused to find some of the Be Well prompts mirroring things I was working on or running across. The tangle at the top right is one that I learned long ago and used as inspiration for a quilting design, which brought back a good memory. Some days I found myself a little unhappy with their interpretation or shading, like the basket weave above. I really want to color the entire square in alternating colors to show the over and under weaving. Once I get through the full 21 days' worth, I may redo some on the backside more to my liking.

This prompt mirrored a meditation/journaling class on growth

What I learned 

I didn't set out to learn anything, but I was struck by how my spirits lifted once the phones were off and I'd cut myself off. I realized just how much subconscious dread I've been carrying around. I've always known about this phone phobia I have which was heightened by years of earning a living answering and making phone calls. But the dread lifting was not just about unwanted phone calls. Good to know and deal with. At the same time, I did end up having to take a phone call for the old fashioned dreaded way of learning about the death of a friend (are you old enough to remember that when the phone rang it was often bad news?). Lesson number two: you can try, but you can't run away from life. On a more positive note, several times I put aside my usual tendency to procrastinate and experienced an almost buoyancy upon completing 3 notes to be slipped in the mail. "DO NOW" reaps great rewards.

What happened to 2024?

My pansies are doing really well this year, and there is a lighter colored flower on one of them that I've been wanting to sketch for weeks. What better time than now to immerse myself in a little detail sketching? I remembered using the sketchbook kept in the livingroom for this in the past and leafed through it to check. I always date my sketches and could hardly believe there were none after September of 2023. I do remember last year as a difficult one health and energy wise but really, no sketches in this sketchbook last year? I am quite pleased with how the pansy turned out as I worked to capture the creamy slightly green color and those slashes of purple. The camera does not pick that up on the original so you'll have to trust me that I got a perfect match using a surprising number of colored pencils to achieve it.

Thoreau's White Pines

I mentioned earlier about taking a more relaxed guiltless approach throughout my day, and that led me to take my coffee and sit on the steps to the back deck and just stare into the woods. I don't do this as often as I should. I'm usually reading or doing something with my hands when I sit out here or actively inspecting my container garden (and inside I'm constantly taking in information of one kind or another, seldom just aimlessly staring without much thought - such an active mind!). My eyes wandered up to the tree tops where I saw something that I had just read about in an entry in Thoreau's journals. He had climbed to the top of a white pine and discovered what he called "blossoms" - the beginnings of pine cones.

I was stunned. I've lived in this spot for 11 years and never noticed that particular pine tree having pine cones only at the top. I scanned up and down the greenbelt and didn't see another one. I grew up in this area spending so much time in the woods and never noticed a tree like this. I've lived in many states and never noticed a tree with pine cones only at the top like this. I don't know if it's a white pine but it looks like the white pines Thoreau described. So another thing learned I guess. No matter how observant you think you are, you may still need to slow down, let your eye and mind wander and notice what is there. 

Final conclusion 

I enjoyed my week of a variety of this and that, things that had been put on hold now tended to, things intentionally experienced that made me think of my husband (Star Trek movies and lots of motorcycle racing), things planned and unplanned. One of the possible options I'd jotted on a list meant to keep me from wondering how I meant to spend my time was to take another orphan block and turn it into a pillow cover. I pulled out all the fabric I'd been setting aside to make more blocks to go with it thinking there'd be something suitable to set it against (pile on the left) but nothing worked. Of course, I had the perfect fabric in my handdyes stash (under the block). I found the pattern I've used before for making a pillow cover with wider sides that would be closed with buttons (upper left). I should have stopped there and got it made to the point where the buttons go on but instead, I dumped my button jars on the table and rifled through them. Nothing quite right or of the right number. Couldn't find the card of wood buttons with maple leaf design bought as souvenir of our Canada vacation many years ago. Tried Walmart since I had to go there for a pillow form anyway but nothing even close. None at my quilt shop. Searched through more places where I might have stashed odd buttons. May have found something that will work. Anyway, this is my next project! And I still have a few other things on that list that I didn't get to when this is done. I truly never run out of things to work on.

 

That Unwanted Anniversary

F. Allen Barnes 1953 - 2000

As the anniversary of my husband's death loomed, I came to the realization that I have lived without him for as many years as we were married (we'd met and started dating only two years prior). Sigh. The day before he died was the Fourth of July and he was barbecuing up the traditional brats, showing his slight irritation at me and my camera, which of course makes me smile to this day. Traditional brats you may ask? Well yes, as we were living in Wisconsin at the time, and the all American hot dog just wouldn't do. I still fix brats every Fourth, although barbecuing is not my thing. This year I tried the Air Fryer and they turned out great.

Our 25th wedding anniversary was just a week later, and perhaps presciently, we'd done our celebrating early. I quickly chose to use the bracketing of those two events as a chance to go into seclusion, my own private retreat to reflect on our life together and consider how I might honor the support he always gave me by working on a special quilting project. I'm not doing much quilting at the moment but I'm sure he would be happy to see me take on any creative task that I've been neglecting for one reason or another. I started jotting down things I could do during this coming week and it is quite varied, mostly things that on their own would not fill up a week. So maybe a lot will get checked off my long want-to-do list. Or maybe I'll spend more time in quiet contemplation and walks down memory lane. However I end up spending my week of seclusion, I hope to maintain and even strengthen that connection I still have to that man who was the love of my life. 

Quotes & A Podcast

Here are a couple of tangles I liked from last week. I always enjoy the over and under designs that look woven and/or 3-dimentional. These have nothing to do with the quotation below but it is a sentiment I often shared with my quilting students because I had experienced it myself:

“If I had one thing to say to artists, it would be to be patient. And to be ignorant of what you think you know. If you don’t get the answer that you were expecting, maybe that’s a good thing. Knowing what you’re doing is overrated.” Pope.L.  

You may or may not have some extra time over the holiday weekend, but in case you do, here is a podcast talking about AI and art as well as other things about making art, some of which I had not considered before, all of which I agree with: https://hebfdn.org/echoes/the-echoes-podcast-austin-kleon/

There's also a transcript if you'd rather read the back and forth between the hosts and the guest. Here are a few excerpts:

Austin Kleon: "When we think about art, I mean, lot of people think about art as the finished work. It’s the thing up on the wall. That is the product. But then there’s the process of art. There’s everything that goes into the artist’s life."  As my zentangle says - it's the journey and I've always (mostly) enjoyed it. 

Austin Kleon: "These are people who really believe in the product of art, and they don’t understand the process of art. I mean, the entire world right now is run by people who don’t know anything about art. Pretty much every tech person has no idea what really goes into it. I don’t think there’s an art lover in the batch, really. They’re certainly not interested in terms of, well, won’t necessarily go there, but I think that’s what people really miss the point with AI work is that there’s no gift there. . . There’s no struggle. There’s no limitations, there’s no, it’s just, it’s all about product. Give me this thing."

Austin Kleon: "It’s like, oh, tension bad. Like, oh, man. I don’t wanna be tense. Like, oh, you gotta, like, loosen up. But I find that tension is this very important thing for creative work, is that in the way I describe it to people is like a guitar string. . . Guitar string is slung between two opposites, two poles. And if you don’t ratchet up the tension on a guitar string, if you would loosen the tension totally, it just buzzes and there’s no music, just makes noise. If you ratchet it too tight, it snaps. And so it is with our spirit. Our spirit needs just the right tension." Honestly, I so tire of other creatives telling me to loosen up. Nice to hear someone say tension is important, but I also take note of the broken string when tension is too high.

Austin Kleon:". . .one of the things I hate about this culture is that the minute you show any proficiency for anything, well, you know, oh, this fried chicken. Oh, you can fry chicken. You know what? What comes next? You could have a food trailer." Camille Hall-Ortega: "You could have it. Yeah. You should sell." Austin Kleon: "It’s the first thing we say. It’s the major compliment we give to talk about. You should take that thing that you love to do that I’m loving right now. You should ruin it by making it your job. That’s exactly what you should do. Right? And so make money. You know?"

Austin Kleon: "Yeah. I mean, that’s one of the first things I tell people is like, if you have turned your hobby into your job, which a lot of the people that I’ve talked to have, guess what? You gotta get a new hobby. And a lot of artists, you know, that some whatever they’re doing that they were loving, you know, and when you turn it into your job, you need something else that’s outside of the market. You need something that’s pure gift." Been there, done that, learned my lesson . . .

And the following quotation describes another thing I've experienced over and over, getting downright testy at times. How about you? 

"Artists are people who are driven to make creative work. And when they don’t make it, their quality of life suffers. They suffer." 

Sure hope you aren't suffering, but having a great holiday weekend, and perhaps getting a little creative work in as well.