My "Hope and Freedom" Art Journal Page

 

Well, here it is, finished at last, my rich and image-laden version of Laly Mille's retreat theme of "choosing a focal image evoking a feeling of flight, lightness, hope and freedom in your heart." My "dream" for my page was to revolve around my desire to improve physically enough that I can get back out on the trails and even travel a bit; that's my idea of hope and freedom right now. I'd originally wanted to use a particular moon image, but it ended up being too big and just not right for everything else I was doing. It dawned on me though, as she suggested birds, butterflies, dragonflies, kites or even balloons, or perhaps something that is akin to a talisman, that my encounter with a blue heron when I lived by the lake became a symbol of so many positive things for me. I hunted through my bin of ephemera and came up with a heron to add to my page.

In contrast, I can't help but share with you Laly's finished page, which might help you better understand why this became such a struggle for me. I honestly didn't care for it very much, not nearly like I cared for other of her pages I'd seen. There were so many things I couldn't buy into for my own page. Like those flowers, growing from the "seeds of our dreams" represented by dots of paint in the ground portion. I did however extend the reeds stamped on my "ground" papers where they had been cut off.

In her wrap up session, Laly summarized the three steps she'd taken us through: working intuitively (I'm so poor at that - I usually have concrete ideas in my head), working intentionally (that's more me and this part went better), and finishing touches (a chance to step back and see what needs fixing, adding details and magic, no more big decisions - well, I'm not sure I was there yet on the no more big decisions). The first thing I realized when I stepped back was that she had worked all the way out to the edge of the page and I had not. It was a place I could add light as she encouraged, framing a bit with the bright green on two sides and the ocher yellow on the other two sides. Then I inspected the images I'd laid down, noting that even the ones with torn edges (which I never thought I'd do but really grew to like the look) did not look integrated, but just stood out too much. I worked a little green around the edges of the heron image (and also went over the gray lines of heron itself to help it show more, ditto on the legs and reeds) and got very brave in trying my hand at extending out the waterfall with acrylic paint. Somewhat successful.

On the other side of the page, I had that square of the hiker standing between two trees and my attempt at blending with paint wasn't getting me anywhere. Then while watching that extra page Laly timelapsed for us, I saw how she dealt with the same thing by collaging along the edges. Shortly after, I came across some pictures in one of my magazines that had ferns just like the ones in my image. Sure enough, I could tear portions of them to add on two sides to extend out my image and blend it better into the background. If you look closely at the larger image, you can just see the torn edges of what was added. Hard to believe that little bit of added fern made so much difference.

Here's that timelapse page of Laly's, much more of the style I like and what I'd hoped she'd be teaching. I don't so much need lessons on art journaling as I need more help with the technique of collaging. But one of her bits of encouragement to just walk away when stuck and come back later with fresh eyes turned out to be very valuable as my time "ignoring" what had become a frustration became time when new ideas and solutions like this one presented themselves.

Another example: Perhaps my favorite part of art journaling is adding text, and I was chomping at the bit to do so. While waiting for the retreat videos to be posted, I'd torn some pages out of the altered book I've been working in, laying them on the table (cardinal rule of multi-media work apparently is throw nothing away). In one of those serendipity moments, I looked down at the page on top to see the first sentence of the first paragraph starting with the words you see above. Oh yes, this was going to be the central text of my page. It really spoke to me of changing attitudes and seasons and how soon the snow will suddenly be gone and it will be warm enough to hike. The flower from the tissue paper I'd glued in the middle of the page for some reason but never got covered up as I'd hoped now became the sun with the addition of the collaged swirl, outlining of the petals and some yellow paint. But I'd not settled on anything else for text.

And then during a break in working on my page, there I was in the car, listening to a Moody Blues cd and I heard the perfect words for the rest of my text additions, and the perfect encouragement for my slightly gloomy demeanor lately as I wait for healing and good weather. A few more "fixes" with colored pencil here and there and I decided I was done.

In the end, I did much of this my way, but really did appreciate what Laly had to offer. I took the plunge to try incorporating a lot of different mediums to learn more about them and if I liked them (I still really like those Marabu Art Crayons, need to learn a different approach to acrylic paints, love how much better gel medium works as an adhesive than the thinner matte medium, enjoy Art Graf water soluble blocks over watercolor paint, never would have thought to use colored pencils had she not mentioned them, was pleased with the way both Micron pens and my fountain pen worked over the gel medium but drops of either ink or Dynaflow paint took forever to dry). I laughed at her description of that middle stage when you get stuck as the "awkward teenage stage" and that you just have to quit listening to the inner critic and either focus on what IS working or just go away for awhile. And ultimately remember that "art journaling is a time for learning and for growth. It will make you a better artist." I will have to add that to my reasons for art journaling, which have been mostly to get a thought or concern onto the page with something other than writing. Finally she stressed that these pages are not for masterpieces (and mine surely are never that, even when successful).

I'm sure you've run into plenty of references to the inner critic, but I'd not heard it described quite this way before and loved the image it evoked: 

"Sweet voice of the inner critic! This little gremlin is the part of your brain whose job it is to keep you safe from change, ANY change, even positive change. The best way to silence it is to keep going, keep showing up, take action and get creating."

Oh my gosh, the gremlin sure has my number because I really do hate change! Pretty evident during this retreat too, as I kept fighting against suggestions and directions I didn't want to take. It was all better when I took a break and quit fighting back. Will try to keep everything in mind that I experienced and learned when I dive into my next art journaling page.