Warming Up

While dithering over what the next sewing/quilting project will be, I've also had multi-media/art journal subjects enticing me. Some of the ideas I have are literally years old, while the one I worked on today is only a few weeks on my mind. I'd come across that photo of the Labrador in a magazine and couldn't resist tearing it out to put on a journal page. I knew I wouldn't have to add much as I intended to use a page in an old Sketchbook Revival sketchbook that had empty pages I'd expended paint on. I've often said I want to get better at collage, and this is no masterpiece for sure, but one has to start somewhere, and it got me going through my bin of ephemera and thinking about how to put pieces together to tell a story, or at least make a coherent scene.

As for the sentiment at the top, I have always been drawn to dogs; babies not so much. Puppies melt my heart, young dogs with their loose limbs make me laugh, adult dogs can always depend on a smile and head scratch from me if the owner agrees. But I've never been comfortable around babies, have never found pictures of them appealing, have resisted mothers who offer to let me hold one because past experience tells me said baby is going to start wailing as soon as it's in my arms. Guess it's a good thing I never had kids!

I had more bad news last week that kept me hunkering down and stepping back from the world and anything creative other than my knitting but thankfully, I've turned a corner on that these last few days. Working on this page felt good; more soon to come I think. How have you all been?

A Little Uplifting Please

I have to admit that the craziness we are living through is starting to wear me down. I don't have Democratic representation which makes it even worse and don't have much faith that my e-mails will break through the Trump loyalty that does represent me. But we persevere, and it was rather helpful to run across the above a few days ago. Helen Hallows who is in the UK included it in her recent substack post on Slow Growth, not referencing anything political but her own energy drain as a business owner and artist and subsequent creative block, saying "I’m accepting that maybe encouragement isn’t always a ‘you can do it’ pep talk. Perhaps like me you’re not in your best place right now. Perhaps the encouragement is to stay small and curled up for a while longer." Yeah, that's the point I have reached in general, and a death in the family is also contributing to the feeling this past week so this was just the kind of encouragement I needed. I think this link will get you to the free part of her post.

However, there's the cardigan sweater waiting for me during various parts of the day when I take a seat and watch a little TV. I've nearly used up the first skein of yarn as I've knit about 8 inches up the back. It's a good distraction. And I've been organizing and straightening things up here and there, post tax preparation and post last studio project. Still thinking about those orphan blocks and have just about talked myself into making a really big tote bag with those two blue and muslin blocks. The many skeins of yarn needed for that sweater are hanging out in the brown paper bag I brought them home in. As pieces of the sweater are finished, they'll need to wait somewhere and I don't like the idea of them going back in that bag, yet all my cloth totes are actually a little small to hold them. Looks like I have a project to attend to.

New Project and a Little Local Art

I saw a sample of this cardigan pattern hanging in my local yarn shop and was immediately smitten by it, couldn't take my eyes off it. The owner took pity on me and printed off the directions from an on-line site. I envisioned wearing it around the house when I needed a little extra warmth and those eyelet stitch panels really caught my eye. I almost immediately went over to my other local yarn shop to buy yarn for it - that same inexpensive mill end wool/mohair yarn by Brown Sheep Company that I made the lavender sweater with, that comes in the worsted weight that this pattern requires. I've been itching to start on it but wouldn't allow myself until The Simple Thing scarf was done which, frankly, I was getting a little bored with as it only required using the knit stitch on every row. This cardigan would be more of a challenge and require more of my attention which I was ready for.

I've knit lace patterns before where you do yarn overs between decreases to create the openwork and I was kind of expecting the same here. But no, it is called Eyelet Cardigan and it does indeed create eyelets while staying very firm. Also of interest, you might notice that the knit stitches angle across the panels on either side of a central seed stitch panel - the left side angling to the left, the right side angling to the right. I hadn't seen anything but the front of the sample cardigan and didn't notice this detail which surely was on the front panels as well. I do have to pay attention while I knit but can still watch tv while I do it as long as the program doesn't require me to do constant watching. I'm pleased.

As for the local art, on a recent trip to the library, I was greeted by a new display in the foyer, some pretty impressive gradeschool art. This signage explains the van Gogh inspirations. What a cool idea! Click on the pic for a readable size.

The same applies to these pics, where clicking on any of them will give you a larger picture so you can see which grade is responsible. This first group is kindergarten through 3rd grade.

I was so impressed with what those kindergarten kids did with those sunflowers. On close inspection I spotted some pencil lines outlining petals so this may have been more like a coloring book exercise but with paint but boy, they seemed to have done a great job.

And here are the fourth through sixth grade efforts. Apologies for the reflections on the glass case, could not get an angle that would not show them. These kids must be so excited to have their work displayed here. Bravo!

It's Done!

Gosh, I had no idea The Simple Thing scarf would take so long to knit, especially since I thought I was knitting pretty consistently on it. Granted, the yarn itself is a much thinner yarn than the worsted weight yarn used in the sweater, so yes, progress would be slower. Still, it took forever to get to the halfway point where I'd start decreasing stitches. I even started the decreases before I'd reached the length of the pattern's sample, both because I was concerned I wouldn't have enough yarn if I kept going and because I'd already exceeded the width at the center as suggested in the pattern example. The pattern does make suggestions for altering the pattern for narrower or wider finishes so I went for it.

I'd had some of this yarn left after knitting that first cowl that I ended up unraveling to make this scarf. I initially didn't think I'd need it but I sure did. You can just see in the upper left of the top photo how little of the "extra"" yarn is left. When you unravel yarn, its memory leaves kinks in the strands, and there are ways to relax the yarn back to straight, but I hoped just leaving it wound in a ball for awhile would be enough. It certainly was better than when first unraveled, but you can sure see the difference between the unraveled yarn and the unused yarn in the photo above. The knitting on the left is tight and flat while the knitting on the right is less defined and a bit fluffy. I will be soaking and blocking this so I'm hoping that helps make the two sides look more the same. If not, the join of the two is far enough off center that it won't show when it is worn.

And this is the coat I will be wearing it with - the colors such a perfect match.

What To Do With Orphan Blocks

Today I fired up the sewing machine and completed piecing a block I'd used for demonstration in a class I taught when I still lived in Wisconsin. This was not just to show the sequence of sewing pieces into sections but also which way to press seams for an easier and flatter joining of those sections into the finished block. I think I've put off sewing the block together because I really didn't know what to do with it. The quilt itself that was the sample for the class is done and on my bed. I don't need another patchwork pillow, which is a popular way to use up single blocks, not to mention the color doesn't fit any room decor except maybe the bedroom, but I no longer can wedge a chair into that room on which for it to sit. I'm not into table runners either, another way one sees lonely blocks fleshed out into something usable. I've added a single block onto a ready-made tote and also have a tote a friend made from a block I'd appliqued but didn't care for but suddenly looked good on that tote, but I have so many totes, I hardly need to make another. So what to do with this orphan block? I do have a printed panel (to the right of the block) that I bought from Angela Walters which I plan to use to practice her quilting designs (true confession - I was taken with the color as well as the design and also purchased a coordinating print) that is close in color but it doesn't feel quite right to pair them up into a wall hanging, for that is what it would be. I do have quite a bit of paisley and other fabrics leftover from making the top; surely I could come up with something. Any suggestions?

I found this little piece folded in the stack of that leftover fabric. This isn't exactly an orphan block but another result of a class I taught showing how to use ruler templates to cut pieces for Drunkard's Path blocks, then how to sew those curved seams. When arranging blocks, I was intrigued by this arrangement that looked a bit like Indian architecture. I did add a narrow border around the outside, thinking I could make a small wall hanging but it obviously has never happened. And look at how the blue fabric has faded. It must have happened when it was up in the shop where I taught - I had a sample quilt's back totally fade out where it was hung against wood paneling - or it might have been displayed in the shop's window. At any rate, it's hard to get excited about finishing it. What to do? 

This all got me thinking more about the orphan blocks I have stored away in a drawer, knowing that there were two problems with finding a way to finish them off (besides what I've mentioned above): 1) some are quite large, and 2) they are too diverse to be worked into a single quilt (although I do have a memory of making a rather wild charity quilt from different sizes of leftover blocks). The one above is one of the larger ones that if memory serves was from a block exchange where I ended up winning the blocks. Again, quilt made not needing this block, but I still really love it.

Now we're getting way back into my "origins" of quilting. I had a limited amount of the blue fabric but it reminded me of a shade of blue I'd seen in antique quilts and I made up these two blocks. No recollection of why I chose these patterns, but I'm pretty sure if I'd had more of that blue, I would have made more blocks to make a sampler quilt. Now that I have them out again, maybe I should reconsider making them into a tote bag for my knitting. Hmmmm . . . 

Nearing the end of single blocks, here are two that again, I have little recollection of. I used to cut up leftover scraps into what I then considered usable sizes and saved off-cut triangles as well. I'm pretty sure these were just me playing around with leftovers.

This one though is a real treasure in my book. After we moved to Wisconsin and I wasn't working anymore, I'd gotten serious about learning how to quilt. Quilting magazines at that time ran ads in the back for quilt shows and block contests you could enter. I got very into making blocks for various contests, even winning a few awards. This one came out so well that I took them up on the option to have it returned. It's a state block (Michigan Star) and I soon found myself dreaming of making a quilt with a block for every state in it. I went so far as to start researching and printing out patterns for state blocks (which is how I ran across my signature Idaho Beauty block) and collecting fabric in this same green, rust and peach palette, squirreling it away with this block in that same drawer where I started keeping the various orphan blocks. I find the palette a bit outdated now and I've lost interest in making a full state block quilt but I still love this block. And again, what to do with it?

This last one isn't exactly an orphan block but it IS a single small block that needs a home. I got the chance to see a lot of Hmong textile art when I lived in Wisconsin, so intricate and finely made that I knew I could never replicate it. So I bought a few small zippered bags with different types of applique and embroidery work on them and then this one 5 x 5 inch block. I'd totally forgotten about it, buried so deep in that drawer. It needs someplace special for sure. But I have no idea where that might be.

So help, my good friends! Any ideas?

Just Using Up Some Things

I finally got around to making the last coiled fabric basket I had in mind before putting all those supplies away. The picture above shows how the two I sent to my friend who winters in CA were quickly put into use to corral feet and thread spools under her acrylic sewing machine extension table. What a brilliant idea, I realized, as that area under my own extension table is where packets of needles are scattered.

I wanted mine to be oval though in order to stack the packets upright and not too big. I had the tail end of  the package of clothesline I'd been using that looked to be exactly the amount I'd need. And it was!

I surveyed the strips on my worktable and decided to see if I couldn't use up 3 or 4 short teal ones plus a single lighter teal print strip I hoped would cover the starting center line. Yup, worked pretty well. Then it was add the raindrop fabric strips as I worked up the sides and top it off with strips of the weird floral I'm not keen on.

I've made at least one oval version of these baskets and remember them being trickier than the round ones and this one was even trickier because of its narrow base. However, I persevered and it came out pretty well, nicely holding all my needles under the extension table. I still have quite a bit of the rain drop fabric strips and even the floral I don't care for but it's all going back into the big bag of coiled basket supplies. Time to move on to other things.

On a side note, we've been going through a bit of a warming trend which makes one wonder if spring is closer than one thinks (but the weatherman is quick to remind that this is March and we still could get some more snow). Could ducks along my walk paddling and feeding in a swale be a sure sign?

My camera couldn't catch it but that is a very bright green-headed mallard and his mate. She barely came up for air while he seemed more in protection mode, staying close and only occasionally ducking down to eat. They didn't seem to be too concerned about me pausing to watch. I haven't seen them since, although the swale is still full of water. Are you seeing any signs of spring in your area?

 

Finishing Touches

So that Valentine Palooza book with the heart stitching on the spine that I mentioned might need something more? Well, picking it up after I hadn't looked at it for awhile made clear I was right about adding a closure. I auditioned several buttons from my button jar and ways they might be attached with some kind of ribbon or thread wrap until I settled on this simple button and loop closure. That's another one of those silver metal buttons that I used on one of the Little Library Challenge books.

But before adding the closure, I added a printout of a gifted heart of flowers design by watercolor artist Ann Butera. She knows how this time of year it is easy to let the weather and lack of real greenery get us down so she shared this with her readers to be printed out and displayed wherever we might need cheering up. I was still a bit worried about the stability of the handmade paper cover even when doubled and I thought that heart would be a perfect addition inside to provide strength and continue the heart theme.

Yes, I cut it in half so that there would be a half heart on both the front and back inside covers. I had my final lunch yesterday with the friend who is moving out of town and presented it to her, hoping she will put it to good use and think fondly of me when she opens it. Hoo boy, we were both pretty unsettled as we parted even though we have every intention of keeping in touch through e-mail and maybe even zoom.

After I got home, I definitely needed a distraction and decided it was high time I block that lavender sweater. I'd ordered up a bottle of the Bath Fiber Wash recommended by OliveKnits in her blocking tutorial but was dragging my feet about actually using it. Even though you don't have to rinse it out after your sweater has soaked in it for 30 minutes, it's still a bit of an operation to squeeze out excess water after draining the sink, then get it laid out to dry - the sweater was pretty weighty even before getting wet. But I'd put it off too long with my usual worrying about an unfamiliar process and how it would go, so I got to it. Before draining the water, I pulled back the sweater to see if I could notice any change in the clarity of the water. Yup, it looked a bit murky.

I placed the sweater in a tub to take it upstairs where I would be laying it out to dry. I soon realized there was quite a bit of water still being held in that yarn so did some squeezing. Oh my, OliveKnits did not lie about what might be lurking in yarn you might otherwise think is clean. This looked part dirt/part dye to me and that part of me that questioned not having to do a rinse jumped to the fore. I ignored it and started the process of arranging the sweater on a large pressing pad I've had forever, checking the measurements given in the pattern and scrunching up those arms I think are too long. It's still pretty damp today and I've added a fan to help it dry a bit faster. Then it will be another case of holding my breath as I try it on, crossing fingers it still fits well and looks/feels more relaxed as OliveKnits suggests it will.

In Praise of Play

Austin Kleon is primarily a writer but he also has certain daily rituals that on the surface look like they have nothing to do with writing. He draws, he puts together mix tapes for himself, he collages. The above is his response to a reader who asked, “How do you balance making fun stuff with doing business? Do you allocate time to simpl[y] make ‘pointless’ things?” (See post here.) This caught my eye because you could say the majority of my creative journey has been being serious about what I was working on and resisting play that felt "pointless" or at least a bit of a waste of time. Yet I have had to admit a time or too when play resulted in something better when applied to a "serious" work. It's probably safe to say that very little play is wasted time.

With that in mind, I was compelled to run the above photo through a palette generator. It's been quite awhile since I've used this tool which can be revealing or frustrating. The photo is from a series taken by Jay Stotts who lives in my area and posts on Facebook. I was immediately drawn in by the palette, thinking it would make a wonderful quilt of peachy fabrics mixed with browns and greys featuring pops of red. 

Well, my eyes see differently from the palette generators; I tried half a dozen (eschewing any with AI) with varying results, most giving me a palette of colors I didn't recognize as being in the photo. Most did not pick up any of the yellow unless I upped the number of colors to the max. The two above are from colorkit.co and colordesigner.io

I tried a different photo and ran it through CSSdrive.com, which I'd used a long time ago. Where'd all the peach go? 

Another try with yet another photo and palette generator, coolors.com. This one works a bit differently from the others I tried in that you can move those circles superimposed over my photo to alter what is getting picked up for your palette. Still, I wasn't getting what I thought I was seeing. Might try working with this some more.

This palette provided by colorpalette.imageonline.co using the solo bird photo above finally gave me the peachiness I was craving and the pop of red but still missed the brighter yellow. Still, I like the first six colors as a possible palette for a quilt.

But for all the time I spent on this, I couldn't help thinking I might have spent the time better and more satisfyingly rooting around in my stash with photo in hand.

Valentine Palooza

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you have experienced some love today, whether coming from a friend or loved one or coming from yourself. 💖 I've finished that book I previewed which was the structure offered by the Handmade Book Club I belong to. Twice a year, a workshop is offered to the public for a small fee to give people an idea of what the club has to offer, and us members join in as part of our membership fee. Since this workshop came at the end of January, the theme became Valentine Palooza featuring hearts stitched up the spine. I'm not much for putting hearts on things, but I have a quilting friend who is moving out of state at the end of March, and I thought this would be a perfect going away present for her. So what's going on in that photo up there? It's the start of the cover for my book.

I have a small stash of large pieces of handmade paper which was one of the options for the cover of this book. Directions required applying a sturdier piece over the spine to strengthen it and I wasn't sure what I might use for that. The workshop includes several zoom meetings where people can share their books and ask questions. It was there that I learned about making a four fold cover. It not only doubles up the front and back covers but triples up the spine. And it is so easy to make. The end folds are the same width as the spine, and folding over each side in turn to meet the edge of that fold marks where the spine folds go. One more fold in and you have your cover.

Double stick tape like Scor Tape placed along various edges holds it all together, ready to add signatures. 

Because the handmade paper has a slight purplish tinge to it, I chose lavender thread for sewing in the signatures. Tip your head to the left and see the hearts!

I'm really pleased that I had paper for the signatures that matched the handmade paper so well. It's a 24lb Southworth Granite specialty paper in gray with such a nice texture for writing on. Even doubled up, the handmade paper cover may lack some staying power, so I might use the trick of gluing the first and last pages of the first and last signatures to the inside of the covers. I'm going to go look through my button and bead collection as well for a possible closure. It's done, but may get a few tweaks before I give it away.

I know many of you are struggling to stay calm while so much seems to be blowing up around us, so I will share that one way I have managed to not let it steal my light so to speak, IS by getting in the studio and losing myself in my work. Once I get going, the world falls away and my focus stays steady. So I was pretty delighted to run across this quotation attributed to Picasso because it sure had been working for me; I think it will work for you if you let it:

"Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."

New Projects For February

I was hoping to have a book to show you but life intervened a few times. Instead, here's a teaser: it will be a soft cover book with decorative stitch positions on the spine - can you see it? I was having trouble getting the camera and my software to capture the handmade paper I'll be using for the cover - it is fairly grey with flecks of color throughout and leaning a bit lavender overall. I found I had some grey specialty paper for the signatures that were a perfect match. I'll be using dark purple thread to sew in the signatures which are all ready to go. Prep of the cover will be an easy folding method once the paper is cut to size.

In the meantime, I've started a scarf from the unraveled yarn, getting past the tricky start to settle into the easy pattern. Perhaps you can see the knit stitches running up both sides? They are the result of a step in the pattern that forms what is called an I-cord edging that finishes the edges as you knit, no rolling or plain edge if it were not there. Very neat. The pattern increases a stitch every fourth row until the piece is about 12 inches wide, then decreases at the same rate until the end. It should work a bit like a cowl but with tails. You can see the pattern with pictures over on ravelry.com here. The bag it's sitting in is one my maid of honor made for me probably in the 1980's. I remember her taking me to a fabric store and telling me to pick out two fabrics so she could make this for me. Are we surprised that I chose fabrics in the brown range?

A couple of quick updates: Not sure why I think I can keep staring down my studio and expect things I can't find to magically appear, but that's pretty much what I'd been doing trying to figure out where my Posca pens went, so sure was I that they should be out in the open like so much of my painting supplies. But what if, in the last time I felt I had to "tidy up" the space including the adjoining bathroom where I often use paints, I actually put them away somewhere, like in the cabinet below the sink? And that is where I found them even though I don't keep other paints there, just stamp pads and various spray cans of fixatives and basting adhesives. I honestly have no recollection of putting them there, logical or not.

And remember my snapdragons so valiantly hanging on in spite of the cold weather? Not long ago I noticed the yellow bloom was gone from the plant in the separate pot. I assumed a deer had nibble it away. A few days later I took a closer look to see the deer had come back and nibbled the plant down to about an inch above the dirt. Another few days later, I opened the blinds to see that the ones in the long planter were gone - totally gone - eaten down to the ground! I have to admit, the forage along the edge of the lawn has been getting pretty slim, most leaves gone, even the white berries almost all gone. A little salad from my planters could not be resisted! Now we've had a good snow with temps below freezing to keep it there, so the snapdragons probably would have succumbed to that anyway.

Need A Plan

"Do I look anxious?"

Here it is, my beautiful wool sweater. Early last week I came to a point where I was caught up and suddenly had a block of time open, and didn't know what to do with it. It was an instant panic as I did the "on spin cycle" of things I could fill it with; because these things were only in my head rather than ranked on a list, my mind just went from one to another and couldn't land on anything. A trip downstairs where the sweater lay with its last seam ready to be sewn made me realize that this is ridiculous: the sweater would rise to the top, be my focus for the week. That seam up the side and down the sleeve took a surprisingly long time to stitch though, more than one sitting. The compression gloves do seem to help keep my fingers from cramping while doing that kind of hand sewing.

finished measurements provided

Holding my breath, I tried it on. Whew! It fits in all the important places . . . except the sleeves are about an inch too long. Hmmm. I went back and looked at the photo with the instructions, a woman turned a bit sideways and holding up one hand to her chin and look at that. Even with her arm bent, the sweater came well past her wrist, about the same as mine. Since I'd checked my finished sleeve measurement against that in the directions, I now knew this was a feature, not an error. This got me thinking about blocking, if I could ease the sleeves shorter that way. The neckline was a bit wonky as well, so blocking might solve that too. Off I went on a google; in all the knitting of sweaters I'd done in my younger days, I don't ever remember blocking one and only had the briefest of info about it in my head.

Well, I learned a lot, not just how to but why block a sweater from OliveKnits.com. In the post How To Block A Sweater, she explains that not only does blocking allow you to adjust your finished piece to the proper shape, but soaking the stitches "makes an enormous difference in the way a garment feels, drapes and wears." Mine could certainly use that. This worsted weight wool that I used while not scratchy or particularly stiff, is HEAVY, so much heavier than the almost airy in comparison commercial wool sweater of a thinner yarn I was wearing that day. She says that an unblocked sweater looks anxious while blocking helps it to relax. She adds, "This settling process evens-out inconsistencies and encourages the stitches to get comfortable. Not only will it help hide flaws (hooray!), but it it will smooth and help to define the stitch pattern." Sounds a bit like the advantages of washing or at least steaming your finished quilt.

What I hadn't thought about is something I know about quilting yardage but holds true for yarn as well: by the time it gets to you, it has been through many processes where it can pick up dirt. A gentle wash will rinse that away. Ditto with any excess dye. And those fit issues I mentioned? She confirms that "A sweater that doesn’t appear to fit quite right might just need a good soak to reach its full potential." So I guess I have one more step before I can call this sweater done! But at least I can now move forward on the next knitting project, a scarf from the yarn unraveled from a cowl I never could make work though I tried several times to reseam the ends different ways to get the drape shown in the photo. I don't like taking out stitches or undoing major parts of projects but this yarn is too beautiful to let languish in something I'll never wear. The rest of my plan still needs to get written down on a to do list.

End of Year Journal Prompts

I thought I'd share the journal prompts that helped me assess 2024 and settle on my resolution word. They were presented in December by Ali Manning of my Handmade Book Club, partly because so many members are at a loss as to what to use their newly-made blank books for. I was still in a mood when she first posted them and brushed them off as something I didn't want to do, but by the third time they crossed my path, I found myself pouring out answers on a scrap of paper. I know we are well into January, but perhaps you'd be interested in considering them:

• What surprised you this year?
• What habits or routines improved your life?
• What risks did you take and how did they turn out?
• What would you like to leave behind this year?
• What are your top priorities for next year?
  

As you might guess, a lot of my answers were quite negative, but it's good to get that out of your system. And it was pretty clear what I wanted to leave behind and make priorities for 2025.

I usually scan over the year's blog posts before choosing my resolution word and writing that post, but this year I did not. In retrospect, I think I left the impression that the year had been a wash, so easy to concentrate on the negative, but surely that was not true. So now I've made that scan and can say it wasn't all bad, by any means. I made quite a few beautiful books, many for gifts. I got back into knitting more often, completing a pair of socks and nearly finishing a sweater. I worked to improve my art journaling skills with several completed spreads and some small mixed media pieces. I added more Zentangles to my sketchbook, learning some new ones. I pried myself out of the house to do some urban sketching once the weather got nice. And organizing efforts throughout the year did make me feel better about my work spaces and a bit more in control.

Of course, I couldn't help feeling my crowning achievement was making that baby quilt for my goddaughter's baby, then following it up with the pillowcases and trinket bowls. And of course, even more trinket bowls! But I needn't overlook all the rest I accomplished, the year certainly not a wash. I'm disappointed that I couldn't convince myself to get out on a trail hike but I'm hopeful that what kept me home or on my secure daily walking routes will no longer be an issue. And I'm hopeful that my issues with my hands will be less of an issue with the help of compression gloves to wear while doing handwork and these fancier ones with heat and vibrations! In this clip they are charging up, the blinking red lights looking a bit like Christmas, don't you think?

So while I may be focusing on resisting less, I think I am right in thinking I need to resist being sucked in by free classes like that Year of Light one. Even though there are a few lessons I still plan to try, I realized that almost all posts from people doing them were direct copies of the instructor's example. And while copying is one of the best ways to learn, I thought more than once that no, I did not want to just copy, but use my own sketch or idea to practice a particular technique or style. That may be partly out of confidence or partly out of recognition of time marching on and I need to make better use of it. In truth, even in the learning stages of quilting, I was always thinking of little ways I could change things up to make it more my own. I will try to keep that in mind, that making things more my own, as I continue into the new year and keep creating.

2025 Resolution Word(s)

Are you a resolution maker or use the shortened version of choosing a resolution word? I've settled into the latter and often have my next year's word chosen a month or two before it goes into effect. Not this year. It was well into December before I settled on my choice for 2025, actually two sets of two words. They mirror how I felt 2024 had gone and how I didn't want 2025 to go. I'll reveal them in a bit but first, here is the last of the trinket bowls, made hastily on New Year's Day because I'd be seeing the recipient the following day for my regular cut and style. I had plenty of time to make it, but kept putting it off as I so often do with tasks until I was nearly out of time.

My stylist is always interested in my creative ventures, so at my previous appointment, I'd told her about the trinket bowls I'd been making and found it a little difficult to explain what they were and my process. Right then and there I decided I should make her one. She is an avid hunter, her husband hunts too but is also a game taxidermist, and they've even gone on safari in Africa. So I pulled out some leopard and tiger fabric that had come from friend Judi's stash to make this. She immediately said, "This will be perfect for all my rings!" then sent me a photo of it in use. She added that most of them had been gifted to her by another crafty client who makes them. I feel like she herself is quite the hair artist, mine being no trick to keep in check and her personality draws people to her. I'm not surprised that clients often gift her their work as I have.

But I digress. I realized that I'd spent a lot of last year in this same cycle of putting off getting to things or finishing things I'd started, even things that I wanted to do or had gotten excited about. My mental state was one of resisting, and if I could just get past the "I don't want to . . ." quarrel going on in my head, I was fine and getting things done. But I often didn't win.

Sleeves set in but still dragging my feet about sewing up the sides

So why was I resisting so much? To be honest, it may have started with tipping over into my seventh decade, which believe me I wanted to resist. I think I spent much of the year in a funk over it, coupled with a long slog getting my thyroid back in balance which eventually vanquished side effects of anxiety, depression, difficulty sleeping and fatigue. I started having more issues focusing my eyes which is due to dry eye syndrome which started up a few years back, part of my on-going auto-immune syndrome. The pain in my thumb-joints and cramping fingers worsened, making me think twice about picking up knitting needles or needle and thread to sew the pieces of this wool sweater together. I stare at it each evening when I settle in to watch tv, but fear gripping that needle will set off the cramping and the pain keeps me from picking it up. (However, I'm experimenting with compression gloves of two varieties and they may be helping.) Frankly, I grew tired of the constant monitoring of my various ailments and the daily/weekly routines and medication necessary to keep everything in check. Moody and biligerant about these things I could not ignore but wished I could.

That's the other thing I've realized in looking back over my behavior last year. A lot of the resistance was also driven by fear: fear of pain, or not having the stamina to make a longer drive or hike a trail longer than my daily walk, even still lingering pandemic fear of participating in anything involving crowds.  And too much of it driven by the whine of that petulant child in my head. I knew all this fear and resistance was making my world smaller and was having a hard time caring.

But hey! Something reversed after Thanksgiving. I suddenly started feeling physically much better which may be why my attitude uplifted, became brighter. I suddenly did not dread the coming year as another marker of my waning time on this earth but felt I'd have the energy to do more and see more, and really want to. I would take up my resolution word more as a mantra:

RESIST LESS/FEAR LESS

I think this will serve me well, and I pray this looking-forward-to-the-new-year optimism and better health stays with me! This quotation from Rilke is a perfect reminder of what a new year can mean:

“And now let us believe in a long year that is given to us, new, untouched, full of things that have never been, full of work that has never been done, full of tasks, claims, and demands; and let us see that we learn to take it without letting fall too much of what it has to bestow upon those who demand of it necessary, serious, and great things.”

As for last year's word - organize - It didn't help as much as I had hoped in getting me more productive, what with all this resistance in the background. Initially it was good to get the decks cleared and a lot of stuff organized and put away. But organizing is a lot like housework: it is never one and done but something you have to keep doing as new items enter the studio and projects leave messes in their wake. Plus there's always that issue of organizing so well that you suddenly can't find something you know you have somewhere, if you could only retrace your logic to find it. Plus, my muse apparently took off with both boxes of Posca Pens which I realized a few months ago were nowhere in sight, my last memory of one set on the work table and the other on the floor next to some paint I'd been journaling with.. She must be holding them hostage until I get back to my art journaling . . .

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Previous Resolution Word Posts:

• 2008 - Freedom
  2009 - Calm
  2010 - Focus
  2011 - Refocus
  2012 - Balance & Harmony
  2013 - Perseverance
  2014 - Explore
  2015 - Fearless
  2016 - Light
  2017 - Endure 
  2018 - Refresh
  
  2019 - Wing It!  
  2020 - Go! 
  2021 - Finish 
  2022 - More 
  2023 - Continue
  2024 - Organize